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He’s doubtful that women really get objectified, thinks there’s a lack of women in tech partially because “men have better spatial reasoning,” and is surprised that I had a higher sex drive than my ex-boyfriend and never daydreamed about my future wedding decorations. I shouldn’t expect better, or I’ll be single forever.
Another friend said something similar when I told him about a date who thought that rape culture doesn’t exist and that men are just as disadvantaged as anyone else because they’re pressured to take the initiative in relationships. These aren’t the only people to warn me not to “be too picky.” The advice is all over self-help books and dating blogs.
We may also have shut down due to being hurt in the past and made some rules about dating that we believe will protect us eg.
I will never date someone with red hair again because they have bad tempers!
If you don’t like writing maybe choose a friend and talk to them about everything you want in a partner and together formulate a list.If I had stopped being picky and settled for one of those guys, I never would’ve met a partner who satisfies all my criteria and more.I would’ve always wondered if someone better for me was out there.Good looks, clothes, habits, even political and religious beliefs can, and do, change with time but some things are integral parts of who we are.“Most guys don’t really get feminism, so you can’t be too picky.” I’m venting to a friend about a guy I’m newly dating and thinking of calling it quits with.
Add to this the influence of TV, media and the social situation we grew up in and our list of qualities that make up Mr or Ms Right can be deeply entrenched by the time we reach our mid-teens.